Drinking from a dipper
What a long trip I have taken. As a young girl I drank from a shared dipper into a bucket of fresh spring water. The thought of germs never entered our vocabulary. Choices there were none.
Looking out from my view point today, I can surf the web, blog my life story, watch men and women go to the moon and beyond. In technical terms everything has changed, in human action very little has changed.
When meeting my potential new in-law's, I am still expected to forget everything I know I and do everything the way they were taught. Could it be that they never drank from a dipper.
As a young girl I could mold myself around most anyone wishes. I now find myself with a few ideas of my own. Independent thinking was encouraged in my home. Why does independent thinking seem so scary to so many. Many negative names have been applied to try to shame us out of our ideas..Let's see, bitch comes to mind, then stubborn, or maybe just the whisper of 'strange'.
Heaven help if we can see two ways to do something. But wait, who do they call when they are reached the end of their wits. ...Try thinking outside the box at least once a day...
Life has made many twist and turns since those barefoot dipper days. I have delivered 4 children, two to keep, two to be returned to sender. Let their Father go on down the creek after 30 years, of belittling.
Married another precious man and knew the sweetest love and care I had ever know. We were going to be that forever couple, cancer had other ideas. It only took 9 months to bring a man of 6 foot stature to his knees. A thousand whys and say it isn't so; and he is still gone. Leaving me with a huge gaping hole in my heart. He wouldn't have wanted me to hurt like this. He never wanted me to be sad. He would always wrap me up in his long arms and make everything OK again.
Now it is up to me to find happiness.
I must say it is a lot more evasive than I ever dreamed.Haven't found it in things, or places. Haven't found it in new makeup , new clothes, loosing 60 pounds, new car, paying off the house. I saw it in a few glimpses from new friends faces. Wow there it is , but no now it is gone. Must be a inside job. Thought I felt it for just a minute the other night while dancing with gal pals. whoops, gone again
Looking out from my view point today, I can surf the web, blog my life story, watch men and women go to the moon and beyond. In technical terms everything has changed, in human action very little has changed.
When meeting my potential new in-law's, I am still expected to forget everything I know I and do everything the way they were taught. Could it be that they never drank from a dipper.
As a young girl I could mold myself around most anyone wishes. I now find myself with a few ideas of my own. Independent thinking was encouraged in my home. Why does independent thinking seem so scary to so many. Many negative names have been applied to try to shame us out of our ideas..Let's see, bitch comes to mind, then stubborn, or maybe just the whisper of 'strange'.
Heaven help if we can see two ways to do something. But wait, who do they call when they are reached the end of their wits. ...Try thinking outside the box at least once a day...
Life has made many twist and turns since those barefoot dipper days. I have delivered 4 children, two to keep, two to be returned to sender. Let their Father go on down the creek after 30 years, of belittling.
Married another precious man and knew the sweetest love and care I had ever know. We were going to be that forever couple, cancer had other ideas. It only took 9 months to bring a man of 6 foot stature to his knees. A thousand whys and say it isn't so; and he is still gone. Leaving me with a huge gaping hole in my heart. He wouldn't have wanted me to hurt like this. He never wanted me to be sad. He would always wrap me up in his long arms and make everything OK again.
Now it is up to me to find happiness.
I must say it is a lot more evasive than I ever dreamed.Haven't found it in things, or places. Haven't found it in new makeup , new clothes, loosing 60 pounds, new car, paying off the house. I saw it in a few glimpses from new friends faces. Wow there it is , but no now it is gone. Must be a inside job. Thought I felt it for just a minute the other night while dancing with gal pals. whoops, gone again
posted by Emotionalgirl at
12:45 PM
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